My Parastomal Hernia Surgery Journey: From Fear to Healing

I lived with a parastomal hernia around my colostomy for about five years. In the last two, it became significantly worse. Day to day, it caused visible bulging whenever I walked too much, along with constant pressure and discomfort. Over time, I began experiencing painful partial blockages that would drop me to the floor in agony. These episodes became more frequent, and I later learned that my colon had twisted slightly because of the hernia opening. That was the moment I knew I couldn’t postpone surgery any longer.
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Ironically, my biggest fears weren’t about pain. They were about ending up in an emergency situation and needing open surgery. Locally, laparoscopic repair wasn’t an option. If things became urgent, I would have required a full open incision down the middle of my abdomen again  (a much harder recovery with a higher chance of recurrence).

I was also terrified of anesthesia. And more than anything, I worried about how I would care for my children during recovery, especially with lifting restrictions that meant I wouldn’t be able to hold my youngest daughter for two months. I read countless stories online. Most focused on how painful recovery would be. But I also connected with a few people who had successful laparoscopic repairs, and that gave me hope.

For a year and a half before surgery, I wore a hernia belt every single day and carefully monitored my diet. I even delayed surgery after meeting with my doctor when my youngest was four months old, choosing to wait until she was walking so recovery would be more manageable.

To have the surgery done properly, I traveled to Fort Lauderdale: to Cleveland Clinic in Weston, Florida, arriving three days early for pre-operative testing, including bloodwork and X-rays. Surgery was scheduled for 2:00 PM on a Thursday, but due to operating room delays, I wasn’t taken back until 7:00 PM. The waiting was emotionally exhausting. I had already spent so many years in that hospital between 2006 and 2011 for previous surgeries, and being back there brought everything up again.

Once I was taken in, I went under general anesthesia and woke up in recovery around 9:30 PM. I was moved to my room around 11:30 PM. The pain hit immediately, about an eight out of ten. I could barely move. Walking felt impossible. The first week was by far the hardest and the abdominal incisions made even the smallest movements painful. The medication helped, but it didn’t eliminate the pain. The next day, I worked with a physiotherapist who taught me how to get out of bed without creating abdominal pressure, and that guidance was incredibly helpful.

I also experienced severe swelling and soreness in my uvula from the breathing tube used during surgery. For days, my throat felt like something was stuck in it. Coughing, laughing, and getting out of bed were the most painful movements. The pain peaked on day two, which was easily the hardest day of recovery.

I wasn’t allowed to eat real food or leave the hospital until I had a bowel movement, so I lived on jello and pudding for three days. I needed help with everything: walking, sitting up, even using the bathroom. I experienced extreme bloating and a constant tightness across my abdomen. I also had an allergic reaction to the surgical glue, which caused itchy rashes around every incision site. The incisions themselves weren’t very painful, but the rash was miserable.

The most painful area by far was around my ostomy, where the mesh had been stitched to muscle as everything healed and settled. Wearing my hernia belt immediately after surgery helped tremendously with support and pain control. I was discharged on day four. Mobility slowly improved, but I relied heavily on pain medication for about three weeks before gradually tapering down.

I stayed in Florida for two weeks after surgery before being cleared to fly home. By two weeks post-op, I could drive and walk more comfortably. However, lifting was restricted to five pounds for two full months. I truly could not have gone through recovery without my support system. Family and friends stepped in constantly, especially helping with my youngest child, and their help made healing possible.

Now, at three months post-op, the biggest mental challenge has been fear of recurrence. I’ve started lifting my toddler minimally and am in pelvic floor therapy to rebuild my core, which weakened after years of relying on a hernia belt. Therapy is also helping with bladder incontinence.

There are days I feel impatient and frustrated, wanting my full strength back. But I keep reminding myself: slow healing is strong healing. By months two and three, I slowly returned to light strength training, breathing and core work, and daily activities. At three months, I was cleared to gradually increase lifting and plan to slowly return to running. Around ten weeks post-op, I resumed cold plunging and sauna, which felt incredible to reintroduce into my routine.

What helped most during recovery was walking as soon as possible, sitting in a chair instead of staying in bed, staying mobile while still allowing rest, wearing my hernia belt for support, eating simple bland foods early on, and accepting help. Looking back, I probably should have rested more in the very early days instead of pushing movement as much as I did.

Thankfully, I had no complications or setbacks. I did experience some stomach pain in the early days as my body adjusted to the mesh and the new route of my ostomy, but nothing serious. Looking back now, the surgery was absolutely worth it. It wasn’t easier or harder than I expected: it was exactly what I had been told it would be: painful, difficult, but temporary. I’m excited to live an active life without the hernia bulge, discomfort, and constant fear of blockages. Hernias are very common among ostomy patients, and I feel grateful I made it nineteen years before needing repair.

If I could offer advice to anyone preparing for hernia surgery, it would be this: expect the pain, but know that it improves. Take pain medication when needed. Arrange help in advance. Prepare meals. And do not lift too soon, even if you feel good. Healing takes months, not weeks. While you may feel somewhat normal around four weeks, full recovery realistically takes three to six months.

Emotionally, the hardest part was being away from my children: especially my toddler, whom I breastfeed. I pumped in the hospital to maintain my supply, but being apart from her for three days was incredibly difficult. And, I also cannot share this journey without mentioning my husband. From the very beginning, he stood beside me through every fear, every tear, and every hard day of recovery. He handled everything when I couldn’t, our children, the house, the logistics, and most importantly, me.

Even when I know he was scared inside, he never showed it. He kept me positive, reminded me of my strength, and helped me stay brave when everything felt overwhelming. I truly could not have gone through this surgery and recovery without him, and I will forever be grateful for the love, patience, and strength he gave me during one of the hardest seasons of my life.

What surprised me most, in the best way, was how incredible my children were through it all. They adapted to the travel, the time apart, seeing me in the hospital, and the new routines with so much resilience. This surgery was one of the hardest things I’ve endured physically and emotionally — but also one of the best decisions I’ve made for my long-term health and quality of life.

If you’re facing this surgery or living in the fear of making the decision, know this: you are stronger than you think. The anticipation is often heavier than the reality. The pain is temporary, but the freedom on the other side, freedom from constant discomfort, fear, and limitation, is lasting. Trust your body’s ability to heal. Trust the support around you. And most of all, trust yourself. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your future is walk straight through what scares you.

​Until next time......!